Or meatloaf, or a vat of gravy, or a bucket of french fries…
HOUSTON—As part of the never-ending quest to make jokes about fat people, Some Guy Daily News is happy to report that Bob Whatley, 41, who has been pregnant with a surplus of Miller Lite and Five Guys double-cheeseburgers for over 20 years, has been deemed by a medical expert to be “due any day now” to finally give birth.
“Every so often you’ll see a guy someplace who has a gut so huge, it looks like he’s pregnant,” said Dr. Terry Nordick, who has a PhD in fat guys. “Believe it or not, some of them are pregnant with a litter of hamburgers or a keg of beer, or even up to six servings at a Brazilian steakhouse.”
“So the next time you see a pregnant guy, congratulate him on his new family of ground beef and/or alcoholic beverages.”
Whatley was elated that his hard work over the years has paid off. “All that butter, gravy, steak, meatloaf, more butter, Baconzillas, more gravy, Baconzillas dipped in gravy, chocolate chip corn dogs with extra butter… it’s all worth it,” he said wiping a tear from his eye. “I’m finally gonna have my own family of baby back ribs.”
A baby shower for Whatley will be held at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas this coming weekend, where he will be joined by his best friends, the Quadruple Bypass burger and a side of flatliner fries.