The Fakest Fake News Straight From Some Guy

“Cowboys & Aliens” Director To Begin Production On Sequel Titled “Things & Stuff”

In Movies on July 29, 2011 at 10:00 AM

Said to feature stuff, as well as some things…

HOLLYWOOD—Director Jon Favreau announced today that Universal Pictures has wasted no time greenlighting a sequel to the summer blockbuster Cowboys & Aliens, to be titled Things & Stuff. Favreau was vague on the details of what the film entails but he insisted “that’s the idea.”

“No bullshit,” he said. “This movie is going to have tons of things and a lot of stuff. I have no idea what things and what stuff exactly, but it’s not like that matters. A movie titled ‘Cowboys & Aliens‘ is going to make $80 billion dollars this weekend for chrissakes. We could title it Fuck You And Your Mother Is A Nazi Whore and it would still do gangbusters if the previews showed explosions, people squinting and important looking shit.”

Favreau certainly can’t be accused of false advertising; Cowboys & Aliens appears to feature, oddly enough, cowboys and aliens. As a result, expectations for Things & Stuff are already sky high, which Favreau meets with enthusiasm. “Rest assured the movie will be as loud as a dryer full of saucepans and as subtle as Cher’s face, and the dialog will be like two autistic monkeys trying to hump your leg.”

Movie rumor websites are already speculating at the meaning of the title — some say things and stuff will inevitably refer to explosions and tits, while others say Explosions & Tits is more likely to be the name of the third movie in the series.

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  1. Now you’re speaking my language! Love it!

  2. Explosions & Tits was already copyrighted by Universal Soldier: The Return.

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