“Only a fucking Sicilian would sue about something like this…”

LONG ISLAND—Sicilian-American Valentina Rugolo announced yesterday that she is suing her employer for discrimination after being fired last week. Best Buy, who employed Rugolo for three months, maintains that Rugolo’s dismissal was not based on her background but based on her performance as a Customer Care Representative.

“She would regularly blow up at people over nothing at all,” said Best Buy VP of Media Relations Kelly Wohlenberg. “It’s like she was actively seeking out reasons to get pissed off at people. This job seemed like a natural fit for her at first but obviously it didn’t work out. It has nothing to do with her being a Sicilian, but has everything to do with her being a self-righteous cunt.”

Rugolo’s lawyer Drew Bailey, while in full support of his client, admits to certain hardships exclusive to Sicilians that are bogging down his efforts. “Only a fucking Sicilian would sue about something like this,” he said. “But what the hell, I’m just her lawyer. I’m paid to put up with her getting so pissed off over nothing. God it’s such a chore, these goddamn Sicilians, I swear to God.”

Besides the tornadic emotional nature of his client, Bailey says the primary issue lies with the sheer volume stuff she says at unrelenting speed. “She really likes to run her mouth. I have trouble staying on the phone with such pushy stereotypes. Nevertheless, we’re confident in our case that Ms. Rugolo performed the duties entailed in her customer care position at Best Buy to the letter, and that all alleged complaints are completely false.”

“Even though I can totally see why they’d fire her. Fucking Sicilians. That’s what they get for hiring her. Don’t tell her I said that, she’ll be pissed.”

▪ Follow on Twitter ▪ Follow on Tumblr ▪ Follow on Facebook ▪